I am still alive! Do you remember me? Do you remember the long thread rambles @ TF (SkeletorNymph), the horrible advice, the long email rants, the completely, out-of-my-mind instant messages? The meet ups? The phone calls, my horrible midwestern accent? Do you remember me?
I wouldn't blame you if you didn't.
I want to go "gee, I'm really sorry, friends" to those of you I have just abandoned. It seems like just yesterday I spent mass amounts of time in front of the computer, struggling with life-shite, and suddenly, damn, I have not seen any of you in months.
I miss you.
Here's what happened to me. Four months in four minutes, sorta.
*I got a life
*I fell in love--but that's over, he's a fucktard, though gorgeous
*I went and lived in Europe for three months
*I saw bloody everything
*I came home to America
*I hooked up with somebody new, whom I'm not really into, but I should be; he's a love
*I'm not staying in America long, just long enough to finish school
*I am moving to England as soon as I obtain my undergraduate degree and land a job there
*I am starting over with my health
*Jag pratar (inte bra) svenska
*I'm kinda sane
*I'm living in a dorm
*I finished the novel.
I'm still crazy about MR. I'm still crazy about my ex, but he broke my heart. My best friend and I still flirt like fiends...someday she and I will figure each other out.
I'm really not eating disordered anymore. I am, in that I'm not completely happy, but here's the thing: I can run around in my underwear and not feel ashamed, I eat shiteloads, I can deal with my weight though I really need to lose about 20 pounds (I'm 120 lbs @ 5'9, christ) but I can deal with this life. I need to be healthy because I have to Make It.
I am cut off from my parents. They disowned me. Don't ask. My fault, of course. Dunoo.
I am in such a better mental state because of it, even if I have to work two jobs and go to uni.
I think I am going to make it.
Hey, drop me a comment if you want to, I'd love to know you are ok. or hit the e I actually check:
That's all. I am not going to say I'm sorry, because I miss you, and I'm sorry I don't talk to you. I am NOT SORRY I have a freaking life.